I got to work this morning and found peanut butter on my shirt in the right shoulder area, some other type of food stain on the front of my shirt (I am just choosing to hope its food, I’m not even 50% sure it is), and realized yet again as an unfortunate consequence of lack of sleep, having to get up for work ridiculously early everyday, and dress using the flashlight on my iPhone that my underwear is inside out again. And then a person without small kids had the nerve to tell me there exhausted when I asked how their Friday was going.
And so help me if you try to say “Oh but I have fur babies so it’s the same thing” I WILL END YOU! Having an animal is in no way the same thing as having a child! Are you saving to send that animal to college (and if you are I don’t have the energy to tackle that ball of sadness right now)? Does that animal REQUIRE you to do laundry every day because they get god only knows what kind of filth on themselves? And before you even say it, you are choosing to dress that animal it’s not required. And you probably also chose to purchase that animal a stroller while you were at it!
But back to my point, yes I understand everyone gets tired regardless of your small human situation. But it’s just really never the same comparison. So perhaps instead of trying to convey your level of exhaustion like it’s on the same level to someone who clearly feels but more importantly looks like they haven’t slept since the night after a circa 2010 weekend filled with Friday night All You Can Drink Happy Hour, Cubs game in the bleachers, and a Sunday Funday unlimited mimosa brunch (that’s my #fbf for today) I offer some alternative comments that can help you express your level of tiredness without coming out and saying you are exhausted:
“I need hot yoga in my life tonight so I can just lay in child’s pose for 60 minutes and nap”
“Ugh, my latte needs a latte, am I right?”
“I’ll be watching the Masters later. That will put me right to sleep.”
“I feel like I’ve been neglecting my cat/dog lately. Today seems like a great day for a serious cuddle-sesh”
“I hit the snooze button like 15 times this morning. My bed is still calling my name”
Or when all else fails: “Seriously, how can you possibly work your kid and being tired into every conversation? I asked what time our meeting was. I’ll have my headphones in the rest of th day if you need anything. That’s all.”