Anyone else think #StarbucksForLife is just a big old fat lie to get you to buy more Starbucks but never reward you for it? Yes, I check my game board everyday and see how many plays I have and how close I am to NEVER winning Starbucks For Life or even for a day! Yes I am trolling the site every five minutes to see if my game plays have been added or my bonus stars have hit my account. And yes, I have emailed their customer service daily about not receiving my plays or stars, and then they give me a few game plays to make me happy and I still like an idiot get jazzed thinking I might win something meaningful. And what do I get? A badge with a Chili Lights. WHAT THE HELL ARE CHILI LIGHTS? Who makes or purchases a bushel of chili lights? Sure I’ve seen hot pepper lights that hang individually in a strand but a bushel of chili lights? Get the F out of here with that nonsense Starbucks! Or a kitten drinking a Starbucks beverage. One, Starbucks you better fact check yourself, cats are lactose intolerant! If you want Ms. Sprinkles to be yaking all over your carpet before the relatives show up on Christmas Eve then yes go for it. And two, who would waste the kind of money you drop on Starbucks on a cat? No one! My cat doesn’t even get filtered water in her bowl. She gets the tap water that I’m somewhat certain comes from the pond out front that is throwing off a green pond scum vibe. And this thing, aka Professor Owl, an owl lecturing on espresso? Ok Starbucks that’s it! If you are going to con me into spending even more ridiculous amounts of money at your stores this holiday season, when I am fully aware my odds of winning anything significant to make up for my dollars spent are slim to none, at least give me some badges I can get behind! Like a “What would Beyonce do” badge. Because that is how I start off every internal monologue with myself when I am trying to decide how to handle a situation. Or a “Two for One” badge. That signifies for every gift I get someone else, I get myself two because #treatyoself. Or a “Wine Lights” badge. Which is just a bushel of wine bottles strung together as lights signifying how much wine I’m drinking between the time family shows up and family finally leaves this holiday season. If you can do it with chili peppers you can do it with wine bottles! If you are with me this holiday season and hating on #StarbucksForLife more than any other year, let me know. I’d love to poke holes in the game premise with you and hear about your #thestruggleisreal moments with Starbucks For Life this holiday season. Because really, these are the issues that matter people!